Thursday, November 23, 2006

So I had an interesting revelation this semester: you really just can't fight some things. After all of my experiences last semester I swore to myself that I wouldn't date anyone in the dorm ever again. It worked out pretty well until I met this really awesome guy...that lives on the floor above me. He's also a freshman (but an old one so he's only a year and a half younger than me) - I spent the entire semester trying desperately not to get involved with him but I think I'm failing miserably at this point. I've spent so much time with him lately that I came home from school yesterday and basically got depressed cause he's all the way in atlanta and I haven't seen him in almost 48 hours. Sad huh? Well that's all I wanted to say and now that I have all this free vacation time, I actually can :) Oh and for all of you Chicago dwellers: my sister is transferring to Moody next semester so if you want to see her and take care of her for me let me know! love yall!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

For Kaylor...

I am posting this blog only because you said you were upset that I never post anymore. Who knows? It may lead to me posting again sometime :) CRAZY!!! I thought a lot about what you said today when we were walking and talking in the rain and I actually discovered something as I was writing in my actual journal tonight (you know the one with paper in it that you use a pen on). I discovered that I am not in love with him anymore. Or in like...whatever you prefer to call it. I thought I was at one point, but the events of this past weekend were such closure for me that I can't even begin to be able to explain them. It's so strange that this could be considered closure, but it made me realize that I didn't want it anymore and that if I had gotten what I was so sure that I wanted, I wouldn't have been happy. He couldn't have been the person I needed him to be. Now there is the matter of the other. We spoke of 3 this afternoon and I am referring to the one that I was interested in last semester as well. I think I still am, but until I have reason to believe that I should entertain the thought of anything happening with us, I won't fall for anyone. I have a terrible track record of craving that which is bad for me and I have no wish to make the same mistake and be hung out to dry again. I love you and I miss you and hope that we can more talks and lunches like we had today. :)

Caroline

PS: blount party on friday night at john and tony's...be there!!!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

WOAH!!!!

I would like to report that Chelsea Moody is officially going to be in birmingham with me on Monday as she passes through to see her family. That's right, Mama Texas will be here in the REAL land of dixie for a short time. I'll try to take some pictures for ya and post 'em. Love y'all!!!!

Monday, May 29, 2006

Sweet Home...Birmingham

I realized that I very much missed living in Birmingham. Life is much simpler here. I am very busy with work and I love one of my jobs and hate the other. But it's all good because I'm happy and carefree once again. I have time to myself again and although I don't spend time with many people outside my family, I am content for the first time in a long time. On this note, I would like to suggest a movie that everyone should definately watch even if you are a boy. It's called A Lot Like Love...yes it does star Ashton Kutcher and Amanda Peet but it is the best movie I have seen in a long time and I don't even like chick flicks. It's absolutely amazing. Oh and you know I can't leave you a post without a song so here's a song from that movie...I think I've heard it before but I liked it so much again that I'll just post it here. Love you all :)

Breathe (2 AM)

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake
'can you help me unravel my latest mistake?
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season.'
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing, their eyes,
like they have any right at all to critisize,
hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason.
Cause you can't jump the track we're like cars on a cable
and life's like an hourglass glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, girl,
so cradle your head in your hands
and breathe, just breathe.
Oh breathe, just breathe.
May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
just today he sat down to the flask in his fist,
ain't been sober since maybe October of last year.
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
but, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it.
Cause you can't jump the track we're like cars on a cable
and life's like an hourglass glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
so cradle your head in your hands
and breathe, just breathe.
Oh breathe, just breathe.
'There's a light at each end of this tunnel,' you shout, cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out.
These mistakes you've made you'll just make them again
if you only try turning around.
2 AM and I'm still awake writing a song.
If I get it all down on paper it's no longer
inside of me threatening the life it belongs to.
And i feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
cause these words are my diary screaming out loud,
nd I know that you'll use them however you want to.
Cause you can't jump the track we're like cars on a cable
and life's like an hourglass glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button now.
Sing it if you understand
and breathe, just breathe.
Oh breathe, just breathe,
oh breathe, just breathe.
oh breathe,just breathe.

- Anna Nalick

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I hate being confused and I don't want to be confused any more. I just want to know...is that too much to ask??? Just to know. I love you all :)

Monday, May 15, 2006

The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence

To all fellow capernwray..ers :) I love you all so much and miss you every day. I am so grateful always for the time I was able to spend with you. This last semester of my life has been one of the single most challenging periods ever - as you can probably tell - and I want to thank all of you...courtnay especially...for all of the support lent. I have been home for about 3 days now and I can already feel a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. Don't get me wrong. I still loved my time I spent at UA even after the hard times - maybe especially because of the hard times. I think I learned a lot this semester about myself especially and who I am and who I want to be. I have learned that I need to be myself and not become what someone else wants me to be. I learned not to be bullied into doing something I don't want to do and I learned to stand my ground no matter how painful and especially no matter what. Have any of you ever seen the movie The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence? I had a really long conversation with my dad tonight and basically told him everything that's been going on in my life. It was actually very helpful and I love my daddy a lot. So anyways he gave me the analogy of this movie further referred to as TMWSLV because it's a really freakin long title. Well the plot of the movie goes as this: Liberty Valence is a bad dude. He's basically the bully of this little western village (yeah it's an old western starring jimmy stewart and john wayne) and terrorizes everyone. Well ol jimmy stewart has had just about enough and challenges him to a duel even though he's not trained in weaponry or anything and is just this morally straight guy who's terrified of killing someone. Now Liberty Valence shoots him twice just messing with him at this point - being cruel and playing with him...and jimmy picks up his gun, fires it, and kills Liberty dead. Afterwards Jimmy Stewart is really torn up and depressed about this...for months and months. Finally, he's still completely blaming himself for everything and feeling terribly morally degenerate and is complaining about it to john wayne when john wayne is like ok enough of this. You wanna know what really happened? When you got shot twice, I was standing over in the allyway over there and I shot him with my rifle at exactly the same time as you fired your gun. I killed him. So then the camera goes back to the beginning and shows the seen from John wayne's perspective. That's kind of how I feel. I don't feel like I'm passing blame, I just feel as if I can see things from another angle and it just seems that much better. I'm excited about the prospects this summer brings with two jobs and school, and I'm excited about next semester at UA. I'm not afraid, and I'm ready for whatever comes. I will not back down and I will not change who I am. I love all of you a lot and miss you terribly!!

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Speciman A: Caroline

here we have it - someone who feels absolutely nothing therefore you may say whatever you want about her to her face and it doesn't matter. You can even tell her she's fat after you made her not talk for an entire quarter of a basketball game. You can also pretend like she's an animal and try to call her over to you and make her sit on the floor. She really won't care I promise. You can make every woman generalization to her in the world and she'll just sit there and take your insults that you think are absolutely hilarious. She'll even pretend she thinks it's funny too just so you don't know how much it actually hurts her to hear those things come out of your mouth. She'll run to that person who was always there for her before this semester and she won't even want to look at her - you're right tv is better than conversation. She think it's funny don't you?